IMMA BACK

Wow its been ages since I've last updated :D


The next post is gonna be pretty long because...


I CLIMBED MOUNT KINABALU AND ACTUALLY REACHED THE PEAK! WOOO :D


In case some of you don't know, Mount Kinabalu is the HIGHEST mountain EVER in SouthEast Asia. ;) That's right. And I climbed it :D WHADDUP.


It was freakin hard. Even 20 year olds' were giving up during the last stage to get to Mount K. :\

But I didn't yo! :D


I had a splitting headache (like a needle piercing into my head) and a bad tummy but I made it! WOOOO THANK YOU GOD I LOVE YOU <3


So the next post will be all about my trip + pictures ;D


So enjoy :)

No matter what.

I'm fighting a losing battle to him.


But with a wound in my heart, and with a final raise of my sword.


I will get her.




No matter what. <3

Everything.

Cause when I look at you, my heart just skips a beat.
Wishing to forget but how can I when I'm trying not to retreat,
Hoping for a better life for you,


I don't care.
I don't care.
If you'll never be with me.
It hurts but,
As long as you're happy,
Stay with that guy. It doesnt matter if its me.
Cause your happiness...
It's all that matters.

Everything.


Everything bout you.

So... :D

Today, I realized I am absolutely in love.


Shit. Okay, at first, I seriously considered it to be a small crush.

But NONE of my crushes has EVER made my heart skip a beat. EVER. Seriously. I was at the canteen, buying some things with friends, Apple Juice and all that (Whaddup) when suddenly Shereen grabbed my arm and shook her head to my right.

I turned and sure enough, I saw her. Crap. I wish I wouldv'e said hi. But how could I? My heart FREAKING SKIPPED A BEAT. OMG.

It's true.



When I picture your smile... your adorable laugh... your amazing voice, I turn all soft and happy.


That day, I was in a bad-mood. And I was sitting alone on the stairs reading a scary book. I needed to take my mind off of things because,


One of my best friends is ignoring me. Tsk. It's like last year all over again. Those two months when Michelle abandoned me were the most horrifying months of my life. Loneliness.. oh the pain.


Anyways, I was just sitting there being all jiwang and shit. Oh, jiwang means emo.

And my neighbor walked by with two of her friends, Apple and another friend.


Oh geez, my heart was pounding hard. I looked up at my neighbor, and she said some mean things to me. But the only thing I concentrated on was Apple. No, I wasnt staring. -.- That'd be too obvious hehe.

But from the corner of my eye, I was watching her to see if she was looking at me. At first when she saw me, she turned away (ouch lol) but then when my neighbor started to talk to me, she turned to me and looked at me.

Though it was just like a second, I still treasure it.

Cause the chances of her actually looking at me are one in a million.


And um... after that was BM (Bahasa Malaysia; Malay) class, and I was still in a kinda-bad-mood when I took my books from my class. But after awhile, I made jokes and Chloe (A friend) and I laughed and had fun.


Yeah... She did that.


She makes me that happy.


I know it makes me sound selfish... And I know it makes me sound mean and stupid because I've dated quite some people already and yet still claim im in love with Apple. But...


I'm sorry. I can't stop this feeling. And It's eating me inside every single day to know that she won't ever feel the same.

Quote Of The Day...

"Its a common thing, general knowledge, that when someone sees the person they love with another, they tend to get hurt. I guess my general knowledge is pretty strong cause I'm so hurt I can cry."

Quote Of The Day...

"After a thunderstorm, there's always a rainbow."

SO TODAY :D

Mood: Abandoned
I Need To: Watch the damn anime Kanamemo
I Feel: very tired and have a huge headache.



Ugh. Headaches. They suck.


Speaking of things that suck, My internet SUCKS. Trying to watch an awesome anime and you're being suckishly uncool with me -.-


I got addicted to yuri animes again. Oh lawrdie. :s


Today, after I went to cyber with Michelle, I went to Amir's house :p

LOL we totally rocked it on BROH-STYLE MAN.


Well.. okay not really. We just stayed in his game room and watch a movie (Don't mess with the Zohan. Ohhellsyea.) and played X-Box360 games :) Like um.. Resident Evil and Mortal Kombat. The one I like most was most probably Left4Dead :DDDD xD

The girl in there, Zoey, was HAWT.


HAHA.


Yeahhh... I'm thinking of asking a friend of mine to be my gf again ;)


But um... Im scared of rejection cause she's still kinda hooked on another dude. LOL :D


I'll just try anywho :)


So besides that,


Urm... Everyone's all right. :)

Had MN Idol practice today ;D AND TEACHER SAID I WAS GOOD. SO YAAAAAAAY ~


............... Yeah.



-Kyle




TEEHEE

BRAD PITT READS MY STUFF

NOT happy

Mood: MAD
I Need To: Punch someone
I Feel: MAD DAMNIT MAD


What is wrong with you?!

You broke a promise. You practically BLEW ME OFF. And hell bitch, suddenly you're snapping at me just because I WANT YOUR FUCKING HELP?!


Not everything revolves around you.



-_______________-




Ugh.


Okay, fine. Im freaking sorry. -.-


I just got through a break-up and im practically having mood-swings!

SO dont blame me if i suddenly cry to you. you're supposed to be one of my best friends! My freaking twin!

ANd now you just-


Ugh.

Forget it okay?

Just dont talk to me.

I Hate You

I never thought I could feel this hatred for someone.


You are, by far, the person I most hate in this world.


Im sorry.

But Im just being honest.

Ohmyfuckinggod

You are such a mega bitch. How could I not see that?


Fuck it. I was so blind. So fucking blind.

You know what, screw you.

Go have fun with your fucking life.


I hope you finally one day, get your heart broken so badly you fucking cry.


I am so fucking glad I'm not your friend anymore.


Cause you're a fucking retard. You know that?


Wake up.



Try to realize the pain you've fucking caused me.


No. We can't be friends anymore.

Holy Mother Sh-

Guess what I found out today.


Guess.


It's obvious, trust me.


No? You don't know?

Ugh. You suck.



I'm still in love with A- .. pple.


Apple.

Yeah.


Hehe.


Almost said her real name there. -.-


Oh well.

But yes.


Now that I'm single again,



The barnical is going to go out there and get her.



... Or not.


OH WELL :D

Haha- I'm happy :D

This whole relationship was BOUND to end anyways. -rolls eyes- Whatevs ~ ;p



Aaaanyways, NOW IM FREE FROM THAT CHAIN~ YESSSSSS! :D


Im single again! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAA.



Being single is nice :D I get to stare at them pretty girls ;D


... Well now.








THE BARNICAL IS SINGLE AGAIN~ BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!



-shot-



-Kyle



TEEHEE

Jar Of Hearts

I know I can't take one more step towards you

'Cause all that's waiting is regret

And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore?
You lost the love I loved the most

And I learned to live, half-alive
And now you want me one more time


And who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart

You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?


I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

And I learned to live, half-alive
And now you want me one more time


And who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart

You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?


Dear, it took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
Cause you broke all your promises

And now you're back
You don't get to get me back


And who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart

You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

And who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart

You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

Who do you think you are?

Who do you think you are?

Who do you think you are?

What The Fuck

Y'know, the WORST thing. And I mean the WORST thing someone can say to you when they're ending a relationship is "We can still be friends."


For some reason, that really irks me.


I mean, HOW THE FUCK DO YOU EXPECT TO BE FRIENDS WITH ME AFTER EVERYTHING SINGLE FUCKING THING?!


I dont know why. When I imagined this break-up, I imagined it.. how do i put this.. I imagined myself to be crying and being sad and all that girly shit.


But fuck no.


I am fucking pissed.


Who goes out with someone for a few hours, kiss them goodbye and says 'i love you' then DUMPS them when they go back home?


I don't get that.


How can your feelings change with just a few minutes? feelings change fast but fuck.


Do you see me DUMPING you when EVERY FUCKING BLOODY DAY i hear my friends saying 'dump her dude, she's not worth it' and i IGNORE THE FUCK OUT OF THEM?!

And you say--


ugh you know what,


forget it.


You can't blame me for hating you,


and I wont blame you for ending it-



Because nothing lasts forever.



And this 'relationship', I knew it was going to end.



I just didn't think you'd do it in a bloody text.






Coward.

Quote Of The Day...

"It took me two days to fall for you. And now, it's taking me forever to get over you."

Who's Who? :D

Who's gay here? :D



YOU'RE GAY!


HEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEE.


Sorry being random :\


Anyywaayssss. I changed my MN Idol song x)

I want to change it from Superman by Joe Brooks to Hero by Enrique Isglasias.. :D ITS THE MOST TOUCHING-EST AND AWESOME-EST SONG EVAH.


HAH. Im gonna get sick of that song anyways so whatevs, lol.

Um, besides that nothing much goin round today :) Might be goin out with a few friends. Um... Probably.


I don't know why. Being afraid has always been a priority to me. But I never thought I'd be this afraid to talk to her. I mean, it's not like a whimpering cowardly feeling; but more of a 'what if she breaks up with me' type of thing. :\

It feels like the first time when she told me she liked me. UGH. :(


So like... My parents and I were at Bukit Padang this morning, and we were walking to the stairs and we passed many people.

Most of the people were girls, and teenage girls.

You know, I just realized that when you pass a pretty girl and if you keep walking and dont turn back, it means that you guys will never be together. But if you look back and watch them walk away, there is something.

I passed a young Australian girl today. She's not really my type. I mean, she's not PERFECTLY PRETTY but she was kinda pretty. So when I passed her, I turned back and watched her go.

Yes, I turned.


Shocker.


But y'know, after that I just continued on my way to the stairs.


I can't say I felt something. But more on the lines of,


I miss being single.



You see, it's not as if I WANT to be single again. It's just that, I do miss being able to stare at pretty girls.


Call me whatever you want, I'm just human.


But of course, it's not like I LIKE them. Hell, I dont even KNOW them.


So yeah, I still got my eyes on other girls (Not in THAT way) but my heart is still with her.


Shit.


How depressing. :\



-Kyle



TEEHEE

Hero

One of the most touching songs EVER. <3


I can be your hero, baby...

Being Random

I always wonder what life was before I came to this world.


Books have taught me stuff, and my mum and dad were helpful with the information...



..... I wonder if I could ever ride a dinosaur. :o

Quote Of The Day...

"Learning how to accept defeat is the finest lesson fighting can teach you."

HAHA

My mum is so funny :D She is currently going through stuff in the closet for things we need to climb Mount Kinabalu.

She found this thick hat thing xD And she put it on, LOL. LOOKS FUNNEH.






















HAHA. That's how the hat look like. :p

... IM HAPPY. :D

This is what I posted on fb x)


Why am I happy? :D With all this shit going around, I'm supposed to be frustrated and depressed, right? BUT IM NOT. HAH. I've learned to be happy through shitty and annoyingly depressing situations! Rejoice :D .. im so weird.


LOL. And its frea-king true. Nottheweirdpartbutthepartaboutbeinghappyandshit.



xD


IM HAPPY.



AND WEIRD.









OKAY BYE.


-Kyle


TEEHEE

The First Song I Wrote For You

This is the story of us,

You took my hand and I took your heart,

Maybe this wouldn't work,

But I don't care...


Cause we're in love..

LOL

I MISSSSSSSSS YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU






FULL STOP.

Life

It's a fiction. A fairytale of a dream. A life away from reality.


What is life to begin with? Is it a ruddy drop of existence? Or has man-kind evolved into something terrible out of their feelings.

Feelings...

I hate my feelings...

They tend to confuse me.

I dont understand, how modern society has gotten so messed up. First the invention of the telephone, moving on to the computer, which distracts us from seeing the real image. Real life. Reality.

Then, we move onto games and internet. After awhile, every has turned selfish and greedy. We blame other people for our own mistakes. We start to regret. We start to murder. We start to steal. We start to do bad, bad things.

And you may begin to relevantly think that you will never do these things, someday your mind will twist. And your never ending road will split to two paths. You will choose the dark side.

But light will bring you back up again.

Cause God has forgiven you for your mistakes a hundred and infinity times. You need to do the same.

Look back at your old friends, your old enemies, and the people you've hurt. Turn back, apologize and forgive.

Forgiveness is the one essence that everyone cant seem to grasp.

Forgiving someone may be needlessly hard. But someday, you're gonna turn back and regret ever being angry at them. You have to open your heart, you have to open your mind, you have to open everything up and forgive.

But society has turn mad-kind into

monsters.



We, humans, have displeased the lord. We have angered many and have done so many bad things for our own selfish reasons.

We have stolen from shops; Do you know that the shopkeeper pay ALOT to get those items? AND they work SO HARD to ship them all around. What is wrong with you?


We have insulted someone behind their back; So what if they're mean and annoying? YOU'RE mean and annoying for saying the same. Learn to be mature, say "They seem okay, a little improvement on their personality would be great."


We have back-stabbed; Why do you have to go and back-stab someone? Is it because you dont like them anymore? Is it because they did something to upset you? Wake up! The world is gonna make you upset everyday! Everyone's gonna make you not like them at one point! That doesn't give you the reason to start hating on your friends!


And much more.


We humans have done so much.

That is why our life is hell.

Because it is all our doing.


All our sake.


-Kyle



TEEHEE

Quote Of The Day...

"Ending something is easier than starting it. But it's much more worth it."

Should we end this or not?

It's so hard to end this. I dont want to. I mean, I do. But I cant.

We've gone so far. Do we really want to end this?

Can we talk? Properly?

Can we meet up? Please?

I need to know you know how I feel.

I need to know your opinion.

I doubt you're even gonna see this post.

Then again, I dont think you check my blog anyways.

I just wanna see you again. I wanna talk to you PROPERLY. Meaning, ALONE.

I need to know if you still wanna continue. Cause this shit is killing me.

And you seem OKAY with ending it.

So I need to talk to you.

Should we end this or not?

Quote Of The Day...

"Sometimes the hardest of things have the best of rewards."