"It hurts having to smile at the person you love and saying "I love you." and the person you love saying "I love you too." ... But only as a friend."
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Update for yesterday :)
Twin yesterday was so freaking fun ! :D
"Just because we're not together doesnt mean we can't have fun."
I love your words there, twin ;) Always the smart one :p Hahahaha ~
Imma miss you while you're gone :( Make sure to come back again, aights? :D
First we went to KK Times Square, cant remember what time :) and we went to our special 'the place' and we totally rocked it out bro/twin style! xD
God, i miss our awesome times.
After that we just walked and we went to a movie :) <-- This was on Friday btw.
On Saturday, we just stayed at her dad's holiday shack up in the mountains :p We totally got wasted! xD At night she and I plus my parents went to watch a movie :) Since she was leaving the next day (and since it was so last minute) we just decided to keep the group small.
I wanted to invite my other friends but I didnt want to bother them. :\ And besides I didnt think my parents would be happy. They only let my twin join because her parents had asked my parents to help take care of her xD HAHAHA you're so lame twin.
Anyways,
Imma miss you twin :)
And hopefully you'll come back one day :D
-Kyle
TEEHEE
"Just because we're not together doesnt mean we can't have fun."
I love your words there, twin ;) Always the smart one :p Hahahaha ~
Imma miss you while you're gone :( Make sure to come back again, aights? :D
First we went to KK Times Square, cant remember what time :) and we went to our special 'the place' and we totally rocked it out bro/twin style! xD
God, i miss our awesome times.
After that we just walked and we went to a movie :) <-- This was on Friday btw.
On Saturday, we just stayed at her dad's holiday shack up in the mountains :p We totally got wasted! xD At night she and I plus my parents went to watch a movie :) Since she was leaving the next day (and since it was so last minute) we just decided to keep the group small.
I wanted to invite my other friends but I didnt want to bother them. :\ And besides I didnt think my parents would be happy. They only let my twin join because her parents had asked my parents to help take care of her xD HAHAHA you're so lame twin.
Anyways,
Imma miss you twin :)
And hopefully you'll come back one day :D
-Kyle
TEEHEE
Owh crap.
I didnt update yesterday...
My baaddd... :(
But who cares anyways. It was only one day. :\
HAH. Anyways,
today mum woke me up at 7. We went to Bukit Padang to run these huge stairs. We went all the way to the top. I couldv'e sworn I fainted for a second in my mind.. Hmm...
Anyways, I was totally out of breath. But I made it. WOO!
And then, we went back got freshened up and we left to Aunty Swan's stable. :) I havent been to the ranch in AGES. I missed the smell of.. horse turd. BUT STILL, the breeze was amazing.
And I really did miss the seaside. And the horses. They seem to have changed... Sorta.
Yeaa. We spent about .. 3 hours there. I spent my time jumping on small rocks and lip-syncing to Cody Simpson's 'On My Mind' while pretending I was in a music video. HAHAHA how lame. :p
After that we went to Langkah Syabas, its a restaurant by the seaside, it's also a resort, and I met up with my old primary school friends :p
Kate Cantwell and her sister Cora. I wasn't really close to them before. But uhm.. Yea at first it was completely awkward, I couldv'e sworn Russ didnt walk around because of the tension but after awhile we talked quite alot. :)
Urmm, her family owns Langkah Syabas so they stay there and yeaaa.
Cora is totally obsessed with Justin Bieber xD I didnt know someone I know could be that obsessed :o Honestly, I was worried~ Haha naww :) I respect her idol. As I have mine ;) TAYLORSWIFTILOVEYOU
Haha yeaaa. :p
After that we went home. We were planning to go a movie (Pirates of the Caribbean, WOOP) But because of laziness and the crazily heavy rain, we decided to postpone it to tomorrow.
Mum kept pestering me to bath.
At the end I didnt.. :D I already bathed this morning. -.- I dont like bathes.. Especially when im tired.. grrrr...
So yea. That's basically it for today :)
No lovey-dovey crap anymore. HAH. A certain SOMEONE doesnt want me to keep talking about her anyways so hell with that.
So byezies :)
-Kyle
TEEHEE
My baaddd... :(
But who cares anyways. It was only one day. :\
HAH. Anyways,
today mum woke me up at 7. We went to Bukit Padang to run these huge stairs. We went all the way to the top. I couldv'e sworn I fainted for a second in my mind.. Hmm...
Anyways, I was totally out of breath. But I made it. WOO!
And then, we went back got freshened up and we left to Aunty Swan's stable. :) I havent been to the ranch in AGES. I missed the smell of.. horse turd. BUT STILL, the breeze was amazing.
And I really did miss the seaside. And the horses. They seem to have changed... Sorta.
Yeaa. We spent about .. 3 hours there. I spent my time jumping on small rocks and lip-syncing to Cody Simpson's 'On My Mind' while pretending I was in a music video. HAHAHA how lame. :p
After that we went to Langkah Syabas, its a restaurant by the seaside, it's also a resort, and I met up with my old primary school friends :p
Kate Cantwell and her sister Cora. I wasn't really close to them before. But uhm.. Yea at first it was completely awkward, I couldv'e sworn Russ didnt walk around because of the tension but after awhile we talked quite alot. :)
Urmm, her family owns Langkah Syabas so they stay there and yeaaa.
Cora is totally obsessed with Justin Bieber xD I didnt know someone I know could be that obsessed :o Honestly, I was worried~ Haha naww :) I respect her idol. As I have mine ;) TAYLORSWIFTILOVEYOU
Haha yeaaa. :p
After that we went home. We were planning to go a movie (Pirates of the Caribbean, WOOP) But because of laziness and the crazily heavy rain, we decided to postpone it to tomorrow.
Mum kept pestering me to bath.
At the end I didnt.. :D I already bathed this morning. -.- I dont like bathes.. Especially when im tired.. grrrr...
So yea. That's basically it for today :)
No lovey-dovey crap anymore. HAH. A certain SOMEONE doesnt want me to keep talking about her anyways so hell with that.
So byezies :)
-Kyle
TEEHEE
Friday, May 27, 2011
Pretending Lyrics
Face to face and heart to heart
We’re so close, yet so far apart
I close my eyes i look away
That’s just because i’m not okay
But i hold on, i stay strong
Wondering if we still belong
Will we ever say the words we’re feeling
Reach down underneath and tear down all the walls
Will we ever have a happy ending
Or will we forever only be pretending
Will we a-a-a-always a-a-a-always a-a-a-always be pretending
How long do i fantasize
Make believe that it’s still alive
Imagine that i am good enough
And we can choose the ones we love
But i hold on, i stay strong
Wondering if we still belong
Will we ever say the words we’re feeling
Reach down underneath and tear down all the walls
Will we ever have a happy ending
Or will we forever only be pretending
Will we a-a-a-always a-a-a-always a-a-a-always be
Keeping secrets safe
Every move we make
Seems like no one’s letting go
And it’s such a shame
Cause if you feel the same
How am i supposed to know
Will we ever say the words we’re feeling
Reach down underneath and tear down all the walls
Will we ever have a happy ending
Or will we forever only be pretending
Will we a-a-a-always a-a-a-always a-a-a-always be (pretending)
Will we a-a-a-always a-a-a-always a-a-a-always be (pretending)
Will we a-a-a-always a-a-a-always a-a-a-always be pretending
lol
My mum wants me to start training tomorrow. shit.
For the rest of the holiday, she wants me to get up early to go jogging at Bukit Padang. Fck.. I dont want owh. lol.
She wants me to go.. But I dont want. I have rights. Why does she has to force me?
Uhm.. I dont know what else to say lol.
Im back on dA.. Kinda. I told myself i'd go on more but I've been so lazy and been so distracted with this thing called sleep. Heh. I like to sleep. Im so weird.
But seriously.
I've been ass lazy and I hate it.
I feel like a fat ass. Shit man.
Besides that, exams are over. Yay. fake cheers. lol.
I dont know why.. I feel numb and confused.
Don't know who's side to take. Who's vision to look through. Who's heart to capture. And who's to throw.
I look in the mirror and I stare at my reflection. I see a kid that's totally different from who I want to be. I see brown eyes, when I imagine blue. I see messy black hair, when I imagine cool brown-ish ones. I see a kid that isn't what I want it to be. I see me.
And im okay with it.
The problem is, some people out there aren't.
I dont know why Im talking about this..
bleh.
-Kyle
For the rest of the holiday, she wants me to get up early to go jogging at Bukit Padang. Fck.. I dont want owh. lol.
She wants me to go.. But I dont want. I have rights. Why does she has to force me?
Uhm.. I dont know what else to say lol.
Im back on dA.. Kinda. I told myself i'd go on more but I've been so lazy and been so distracted with this thing called sleep. Heh. I like to sleep. Im so weird.
But seriously.
I've been ass lazy and I hate it.
I feel like a fat ass. Shit man.
Besides that, exams are over. Yay. fake cheers. lol.
I dont know why.. I feel numb and confused.
Don't know who's side to take. Who's vision to look through. Who's heart to capture. And who's to throw.
I look in the mirror and I stare at my reflection. I see a kid that's totally different from who I want to be. I see brown eyes, when I imagine blue. I see messy black hair, when I imagine cool brown-ish ones. I see a kid that isn't what I want it to be. I see me.
And im okay with it.
The problem is, some people out there aren't.
I dont know why Im talking about this..
bleh.
-Kyle
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Quote Of The Day...
"When life kicks you in the rear end, don't bow down and cry. Get back up, smile at it and say 'Thanks. I needed that.'"
Shit.. I didnt
update yesterday. Crap. Im sorry. I fell asleep. And before that, I was still a little.. mind-bloggled. LOL. no such word. OH WELL.
Okay anyways,
Im having doubts. Doubts on what, you ask? Well, If I say it it'll be too obvious. But I'm just having alot of doubts. Imma be using big words ;)
You always hang out with said paramour and what makes me non-jubilant is that truthness of the fact that you and your paramour are best jubilant when said paramour and yourself are .. equivalent. It's said everywhere that you and your paramour are mighty jubilant when equivalent. And I dont want you to not be jubilant, so be it.
Okay, the point is. I entertainingly capture the stuff you piece up and I kinda get a hint that you might be piecing up about some other paramour. Which is sad. lol.
Yea.. I fail at this.
OKAY. But seriously, imma sorry for not updating.
The problem with me is, two days im active, the other five days im dead. HAHAHA. I fail like that. I should stop talking now.
LOL I went to Amir's (A friend) house today. :p We watched like.. quarter of this movie called Forest Gump or something like that. It's a good movie :D Imma download it xD
Then after that, when his mum left, he quickly changed to an XBox game xD Its called Dead Rising 2. :D EPICNESS.
You're able to chainsaw some zombies! LOL :D And you're even able to throw a magazine at them hahahaa. That's stupid.
Yea.. That's basically all. :\
Oh yea, exams are over :D Well, not really.. tomorrow got Art exam xD BUT THATS IT. AND I RAWK AT ART. HAHAHAHAA. Naw im joking. :) BUT SERIOUSLY.
IM SO WEIRD.
YEA. CANT WAIT TO HANG OUT WITH YOU TOMORROW TWIN.
-Kyle
TEEHEE
Okay anyways,
Im having doubts. Doubts on what, you ask? Well, If I say it it'll be too obvious. But I'm just having alot of doubts. Imma be using big words ;)
You always hang out with said paramour and what makes me non-jubilant is that truthness of the fact that you and your paramour are best jubilant when said paramour and yourself are .. equivalent. It's said everywhere that you and your paramour are mighty jubilant when equivalent. And I dont want you to not be jubilant, so be it.
Okay, the point is. I entertainingly capture the stuff you piece up and I kinda get a hint that you might be piecing up about some other paramour. Which is sad. lol.
Yea.. I fail at this.
OKAY. But seriously, imma sorry for not updating.
The problem with me is, two days im active, the other five days im dead. HAHAHA. I fail like that. I should stop talking now.
LOL I went to Amir's (A friend) house today. :p We watched like.. quarter of this movie called Forest Gump or something like that. It's a good movie :D Imma download it xD
Then after that, when his mum left, he quickly changed to an XBox game xD Its called Dead Rising 2. :D EPICNESS.
You're able to chainsaw some zombies! LOL :D And you're even able to throw a magazine at them hahahaa. That's stupid.
Yea.. That's basically all. :\
Oh yea, exams are over :D Well, not really.. tomorrow got Art exam xD BUT THATS IT. AND I RAWK AT ART. HAHAHAHAA. Naw im joking. :) BUT SERIOUSLY.
IM SO WEIRD.
YEA. CANT WAIT TO HANG OUT WITH YOU TOMORROW TWIN.
-Kyle
TEEHEE
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Jessie J- Who You Are
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG .
L O V E THIS SONG
IM GONNA COVER IT ..
HOPE I DONT SPOIL IT ;W;
Just a shoutout ;)
Just a shoutout to all of you who has helped me in the past. You guys mean so much to me. :') Especially my friends now. Just a shoutout and a little story to show you how much you guys are appreciated ~
When I was primary 4, I committed something that some people might say a sin, but my friends accepted me cause of it. Yeah, I was young and I was proud then and people just thought I was going through a 'phase'. But even when I tell them the thing was true, they accepted me and treated me no differently.
When I was primary 5, I transferred to SRS Datuk Simon Fung. :) It's a great school! At first, I bawled to my mum, begging her not to send me there. But on the first day, surprisingly, I was totally excited! Of course, I didnt know anyone and hid at the back. But the girls talked to me and introduced me to one another. :p And after a few days, I already got used to it.
When I was primary 6, a friend and I got into a spat. A big one. She ignored me for a fair 2 months. She didnt even tell me what I did wrong. What's worse, is that she was my best friend. Now the worst part, she turned all my best friends against me. Soon, no one was talking to me. But then a few students approached me, few students that I knew but never actually talked to. We made a group called 'The Social Outcast'. It's an awesome group cause.. well it gave me a sense of togetherness, y'know. :)
After a month, the social outcast started falling apart a little. :\ I mean, we still remained friends but then I got even more emo cause I did miss my best friend. :( I missed her so much. After awhile, another friend and I got really close. :) She's a great friend xD Always so.. happy and not-caring. We shared the same interests, movies and books. :) So then we got real close.
When I was form 1 (this year) at the beginning of the year, I was pretty lost and blur. Considering I was.. different. And on my first day, I didnt see anyone I knew, so I just stayed with my mum as she bought my uniform. Then a friend from SRS came up to me. I wasn't close with her, so yea, but then after the first day we were like best friends! So thanks to her ;D
This is just recent, a few days ago, May 21 Saturday, a few people and I got into a fight. A few people including my best friend and my Juliet. At first it was okay, you know I took the hit and remained calm. But after awhile, with all the obvious statuses, I began to break down. I called a friend of mine while crying (Yes, im weak) and she comforted me.. Well at first I found it awkward, but I didnt pay attention cause I was just SO PISSED.
Then she just told me some stuff I knew was true, but was too sad to pay attention to. After a few hours, I managed to calm down. She helped me. So thank you! :) <3
My friends helped me through so much. It doesnt even have to be recent friends! My old Tadika friends and my old primary school friends? ;) YOU GUYS ROCK. And I love you SO MUCH <3 :D
So guys, thanks :) You helped me through so much.
And just a shoutout to my BEST FRIEND (youknowwhoyouare) even though we fight ALOT (youtendtomakemecry) we're still family ~ ;D
-Kyle
When I was primary 4, I committed something that some people might say a sin, but my friends accepted me cause of it. Yeah, I was young and I was proud then and people just thought I was going through a 'phase'. But even when I tell them the thing was true, they accepted me and treated me no differently.
When I was primary 5, I transferred to SRS Datuk Simon Fung. :) It's a great school! At first, I bawled to my mum, begging her not to send me there. But on the first day, surprisingly, I was totally excited! Of course, I didnt know anyone and hid at the back. But the girls talked to me and introduced me to one another. :p And after a few days, I already got used to it.
When I was primary 6, a friend and I got into a spat. A big one. She ignored me for a fair 2 months. She didnt even tell me what I did wrong. What's worse, is that she was my best friend. Now the worst part, she turned all my best friends against me. Soon, no one was talking to me. But then a few students approached me, few students that I knew but never actually talked to. We made a group called 'The Social Outcast'. It's an awesome group cause.. well it gave me a sense of togetherness, y'know. :)
After a month, the social outcast started falling apart a little. :\ I mean, we still remained friends but then I got even more emo cause I did miss my best friend. :( I missed her so much. After awhile, another friend and I got really close. :) She's a great friend xD Always so.. happy and not-caring. We shared the same interests, movies and books. :) So then we got real close.
When I was form 1 (this year) at the beginning of the year, I was pretty lost and blur. Considering I was.. different. And on my first day, I didnt see anyone I knew, so I just stayed with my mum as she bought my uniform. Then a friend from SRS came up to me. I wasn't close with her, so yea, but then after the first day we were like best friends! So thanks to her ;D
This is just recent, a few days ago, May 21 Saturday, a few people and I got into a fight. A few people including my best friend and my Juliet. At first it was okay, you know I took the hit and remained calm. But after awhile, with all the obvious statuses, I began to break down. I called a friend of mine while crying (Yes, im weak) and she comforted me.. Well at first I found it awkward, but I didnt pay attention cause I was just SO PISSED.
Then she just told me some stuff I knew was true, but was too sad to pay attention to. After a few hours, I managed to calm down. She helped me. So thank you! :) <3
My friends helped me through so much. It doesnt even have to be recent friends! My old Tadika friends and my old primary school friends? ;) YOU GUYS ROCK. And I love you SO MUCH <3 :D
So guys, thanks :) You helped me through so much.
And just a shoutout to my BEST FRIEND (youknowwhoyouare) even though we fight ALOT (youtendtomakemecry) we're still family ~ ;D
-Kyle
Monday, May 23, 2011
Shit.
Well, you know how I've said that I fall for you more and more each day, right?
Now I just realized,
I am sooooooo in love with you.. And I think the reason's my heart's beating like this is because... I want you so much.
Now I just realized,
I am sooooooo in love with you.. And I think the reason's my heart's beating like this is because... I want you so much.
Quote Of The Day...
"I'm trying not to say bad things about others. But that's hard considering with every step I take, someone does something to give me a reason to blab them out."
UGH.
My twin is sad. :( When my twin is sad, im sad.. It sucks to read her blog all full of venom. :s
Besides that, a friend and I made up today. We went to .. someplace to study :D Well, we didnt really study to begin with xD She taught me a little bit of Geo. But that barely counts :p After that, we just ate, drank and talk. :)
And after awhile, I had to go home so yea. :p I wanna do it again tomorrow ~ It beats staying at home not studying at all xD Besides, I want Juliet to be there too.. At least I can see her.. And maybe. Talk. :s
So yea.
We're friends again yay ~ :D
Bleh. It was bound to happen. Everytime there's a fight, there's not really a 'im sorry' or 'Its okay, I forgive you'. It just comes.
We had a huge fight last night and now without words, we've forgiven each other. That's called awesome xD
Sigh. I guess words are overrated after all. :) But then again, I fight better with words rather than my fists xD
The problem with her, is that she never replies my text. :( yerrr..
Im awaiting her reply.
Anyways, today's okay I guess. :( Im so scared im gonna fail my Sejarah. I mean, its okay but... I tembak most of them (Meaning, I dont know so I just randomly choose one) And when I say 'most of them' I mean like... 90% percent of the whole paper. -___- UGH.
BM was okay though :p Paper 2 was a little long and hard. :s But paper 1 was satisfying :) So yay ~ xD
Tomorrow I have English (NO PROBLEM HEHEHE) and Geography -___-
Ugh.
Geo.
You suck.
SO BYEZIES ~ <3
-Kyle
TEEHEE
Besides that, a friend and I made up today. We went to .. someplace to study :D Well, we didnt really study to begin with xD She taught me a little bit of Geo. But that barely counts :p After that, we just ate, drank and talk. :)
And after awhile, I had to go home so yea. :p I wanna do it again tomorrow ~ It beats staying at home not studying at all xD Besides, I want Juliet to be there too.. At least I can see her.. And maybe. Talk. :s
So yea.
We're friends again yay ~ :D
Bleh. It was bound to happen. Everytime there's a fight, there's not really a 'im sorry' or 'Its okay, I forgive you'. It just comes.
We had a huge fight last night and now without words, we've forgiven each other. That's called awesome xD
Sigh. I guess words are overrated after all. :) But then again, I fight better with words rather than my fists xD
The problem with her, is that she never replies my text. :( yerrr..
Im awaiting her reply.
Anyways, today's okay I guess. :( Im so scared im gonna fail my Sejarah. I mean, its okay but... I tembak most of them (Meaning, I dont know so I just randomly choose one) And when I say 'most of them' I mean like... 90% percent of the whole paper. -___- UGH.
BM was okay though :p Paper 2 was a little long and hard. :s But paper 1 was satisfying :) So yay ~ xD
Tomorrow I have English (NO PROBLEM HEHEHE) and Geography -___-
Ugh.
Geo.
You suck.
SO BYEZIES ~ <3
-Kyle
TEEHEE
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Well,
I am NOT ready for any exams. And tomorrow I got Sejarah and BM (History and Malay) and I HAVE to pass those two. Cause If I fail, I can't go up a year. SHIT.
And guess what? .. I didnt study.. At all. That's right. HAH. I'm awesome like that.
But seriously, all I did today was daydream, chat and sing. -___-
Im such a lazy ass.
Crap, what am I supposed to do?! F*CK.
I dont even understand BM.
God, I need you now. UGH.
And guess what? .. I didnt study.. At all. That's right. HAH. I'm awesome like that.
But seriously, all I did today was daydream, chat and sing. -___-
Im such a lazy ass.
Crap, what am I supposed to do?! F*CK.
I dont even understand BM.
God, I need you now. UGH.
Crap..
Crap.
Without your voice as a lullaby for tonight
I don't think I'll be able to sleep.
And there's exams tomorrow. -______- DAMNIT.
Without your voice as a lullaby for tonight
I don't think I'll be able to sleep.
And there's exams tomorrow. -______- DAMNIT.
On My Mind - Cody Simpson
I’m sleeping through the day, I’m trying not to fade
But every single night, I’ve just been lying awake
Cause I, I can’t get you off my mind
The moment that we met, I didn’t know yet
That I was looking at a face I’ll never forget
Cause I, I can’t get you off my mind
I can’t get you off my mind, Give me the chance to love you
I’ll tell you the only reason why, Cause you are on my mind
I want to know you feel it, What do you see when you close your eyes
Cause you are on my mind
[Verse 2]
I want to be best, I want to be worst
I want to be the gravity in your universe
And I, I want to be there to help you fly
I’ll help you fly girl
Oh, the longer that I wait, The more that I’m afraid
That someone’s gonna fool your heart and take you away
Cause I, I finally realized, That I can’t get you off my mind
Give me the chance to love, I’ll tell you the only reason why
Cause you are on my mind, I want to know you feel it
What do you see when you close your eyes
Cause you are on my mind
Girl I can’t live without you, I can’t think straight without you, no
So tell me what should I do, If I can’t get you off my mind
Give me the chance to love
I’ll tell you the only reason why
Cause you are on my mind
I gotta know you feel it, What do you see when you close your eyes
Cause you are on my mind, You’re on my mind
You’re on my mind all day and night, oh
Cause you are on my mind
You're always on my mind <3
Cause I, I can’t get you off my mind
The moment that we met, I didn’t know yet
That I was looking at a face I’ll never forget
Cause I, I can’t get you off my mind
I can’t get you off my mind, Give me the chance to love you
I’ll tell you the only reason why, Cause you are on my mind
I want to know you feel it, What do you see when you close your eyes
Cause you are on my mind
[Verse 2]
I want to be best, I want to be worst
I want to be the gravity in your universe
And I, I want to be there to help you fly
I’ll help you fly girl
Oh, the longer that I wait, The more that I’m afraid
That someone’s gonna fool your heart and take you away
Cause I, I finally realized, That I can’t get you off my mind
Give me the chance to love, I’ll tell you the only reason why
Cause you are on my mind, I want to know you feel it
What do you see when you close your eyes
Cause you are on my mind
Girl I can’t live without you, I can’t think straight without you, no
So tell me what should I do, If I can’t get you off my mind
Give me the chance to love
I’ll tell you the only reason why
Cause you are on my mind
I gotta know you feel it, What do you see when you close your eyes
Cause you are on my mind, You’re on my mind
You’re on my mind all day and night, oh
Cause you are on my mind
You're always on my mind <3
So dragging the emo posts aside,
I should smile more.
I mean, life is hard and so far life has done nothing but kick me in the rear, but smiling has been proven to be healthy. And I wanna be healthy so that I could live long. :)
Look, I'm not saying that I've forgotten about the 'drama' that has happened. Because this drama is killing me. It is. But I got no choice. I cant live in sadness forever.
You gotta admit that's true ;)
Anyways, I've talked to a few friends. Uhmm.. They've helped big time. Heh..
They gave me alot of advices, but no matter who I talk to, it always narrows up to the same suggestion.
"Break-up with her."
But how am I supposed to do that when Im still in love with her?! GOD.
LOL.
Anyyyyways.
I update 24/7. So If I stopped going on fb and stopped replying you. Check my blog. There's bound to be something on this website where.. well, where you'll know what's wrong.
Besides that, I've read your blog.
But I just dont know who to believe.
Everyone tells me you're playing me.
They tell me you dont deserve me.
But with all the crap I've done, maybe this is karma.
Maybe because I chose 'this path' and because of 'who I am', this is my punishment..
Fish you, karma.
But yea... Im so confused right now. I can't even continue my book! That's sad! That is VERY sad. Cause I love writing.. and I cant write now.. grrr..
Besides that, food helps me. :) I ate alot today. Not good.
And because of last night, I skipped gym today. That's right. I SKIPPED GYM TODAY..
THAT IS NOT GOOD. Im gonna stay flabby and not-fit. -_____- Damn me. Damn me bad.
UGH. I dont like this. Because all my siblings are gone, the house is empty and I've become a huge lazy-ass. I've even started LIKING school because at least I walk! That's weird. BIG weird.
Sheesh. I dont even know anymore.
I guess that's it. I want you to call.
I do.
I wanna hear your voice.
I want something to remind that you're still mine.
That you're still here.
And you know what hurts me?
Don't EVER say 'I wish I wouldv'e never have come to MN'
Because that's not true. You may have hurt me but I didn't regret at all..
You coming to MN is one of the best things that has happened to me. So don't say that. Please...
-Kyle
TEEHEE
I mean, life is hard and so far life has done nothing but kick me in the rear, but smiling has been proven to be healthy. And I wanna be healthy so that I could live long. :)
Look, I'm not saying that I've forgotten about the 'drama' that has happened. Because this drama is killing me. It is. But I got no choice. I cant live in sadness forever.
You gotta admit that's true ;)
Anyways, I've talked to a few friends. Uhmm.. They've helped big time. Heh..
They gave me alot of advices, but no matter who I talk to, it always narrows up to the same suggestion.
"Break-up with her."
But how am I supposed to do that when Im still in love with her?! GOD.
LOL.
Anyyyyways.
I update 24/7. So If I stopped going on fb and stopped replying you. Check my blog. There's bound to be something on this website where.. well, where you'll know what's wrong.
Besides that, I've read your blog.
But I just dont know who to believe.
Everyone tells me you're playing me.
They tell me you dont deserve me.
But with all the crap I've done, maybe this is karma.
Maybe because I chose 'this path' and because of 'who I am', this is my punishment..
Fish you, karma.
But yea... Im so confused right now. I can't even continue my book! That's sad! That is VERY sad. Cause I love writing.. and I cant write now.. grrr..
Besides that, food helps me. :) I ate alot today. Not good.
And because of last night, I skipped gym today. That's right. I SKIPPED GYM TODAY..
THAT IS NOT GOOD. Im gonna stay flabby and not-fit. -_____- Damn me. Damn me bad.
UGH. I dont like this. Because all my siblings are gone, the house is empty and I've become a huge lazy-ass. I've even started LIKING school because at least I walk! That's weird. BIG weird.
Sheesh. I dont even know anymore.
I guess that's it. I want you to call.
I do.
I wanna hear your voice.
I want something to remind that you're still mine.
That you're still here.
And you know what hurts me?
Don't EVER say 'I wish I wouldv'e never have come to MN'
Because that's not true. You may have hurt me but I didn't regret at all..
You coming to MN is one of the best things that has happened to me. So don't say that. Please...
-Kyle
TEEHEE
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Quote Of The Day...
"Running away may be easier than facing reality, but it also means you're letting reality win. And hey, that's the one thing you don't want."
The Difference Between Trust and A Lie
Trust is something we all need to earn. It's not something we buy, and it's not something we just come up with through thin air. Trust needs to be earned from the heart, anywhere else is considered a lie. A bald-face, deep-untruth LIE.
A lie is something I freaking hate. So if you're going to lie to me and If I find out, you're screwed. I'm gonna shove your face so deep in the ground you'll see HELL. You see, lies are meant to keep someone from getting hurt. But the reality of getting lied to right in the face hurts like fuck.
Not only that, but lies are like the truth but told differently. Completely different. Okay, I'm not making sense anymore.
The difference between the truth and a lie is that, the truth hurts more- but a lie stings and stains your history forever.
I had a relationship based on a lie. It ended soon after she found out. It wasn't heartbreaking, but more of a relief.
I have nothing else to say..
Except.
Try your best to not lie. Yes, eventually a lie will slip. But just try not to. It's better.
-Kyle
TEEHEE
A lie is something I freaking hate. So if you're going to lie to me and If I find out, you're screwed. I'm gonna shove your face so deep in the ground you'll see HELL. You see, lies are meant to keep someone from getting hurt. But the reality of getting lied to right in the face hurts like fuck.
Not only that, but lies are like the truth but told differently. Completely different. Okay, I'm not making sense anymore.
The difference between the truth and a lie is that, the truth hurts more- but a lie stings and stains your history forever.
I had a relationship based on a lie. It ended soon after she found out. It wasn't heartbreaking, but more of a relief.
I have nothing else to say..
Except.
Try your best to not lie. Yes, eventually a lie will slip. But just try not to. It's better.
-Kyle
TEEHEE
Friday, May 20, 2011
Somewhere only we know
This could be the end of everything,
so why don't we go..
Somewhere only we know?
so why don't we go..
Somewhere only we know?
You say you're my best friend
but you dont even hang out with me in school.
I love you as a sister, and I would do anything dude. But sometimes I just think you dont care about me. :s
So sorry...
I love you as a sister, and I would do anything dude. But sometimes I just think you dont care about me. :s
So sorry...
Confusing much.
I always feel safe when I'm with you. And though most of the time, you cause me more pain than joy.. I can't let go.
I wish I can rewind to go back to last night.
Last night was one of the safest I felt in quite a long time. But hell, I always feel safe when I'm with you. I couldn't sleep last night cause I was tossing and turning in bed, thinking of you. Everything is about you now. And its killing me because you hurt me a lot of times and everybody keeps asking me to break-up with you but I just cant.
I can't.
My friends often say, Bro's before Ho's. But you're different. You are like that one star in the sky that seems to outshines all the rest. You're like the odd black sheep out of all the white ones. You're different.
But it's so hard because we barely talk. And.. I know we have to keep this a secret but. (for the millionth time) secrets SUCK.
And not only that but I dont think I can cope with seeing you with THAT guy. I HATE him so FREAKING much. I want to MURDER him..
Excuse my violence.
I just don't think this is gonna work out.
And though I'd kill myself for you,
I'm tired of hurting.
I wish I can rewind to go back to last night.
Last night was one of the safest I felt in quite a long time. But hell, I always feel safe when I'm with you. I couldn't sleep last night cause I was tossing and turning in bed, thinking of you. Everything is about you now. And its killing me because you hurt me a lot of times and everybody keeps asking me to break-up with you but I just cant.
I can't.
My friends often say, Bro's before Ho's. But you're different. You are like that one star in the sky that seems to outshines all the rest. You're like the odd black sheep out of all the white ones. You're different.
But it's so hard because we barely talk. And.. I know we have to keep this a secret but. (for the millionth time) secrets SUCK.
And not only that but I dont think I can cope with seeing you with THAT guy. I HATE him so FREAKING much. I want to MURDER him..
Excuse my violence.
I just don't think this is gonna work out.
And though I'd kill myself for you,
I'm tired of hurting.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
HAHAHA.
Hahhhaa I'm so emo :D
No but seriously, my posts are getting a bit too emo. Hehehe.. sorry.
Im just really emotional okay?!
Fck, I dont like people somtimes :D SO DEAL WITH IT.
I sound scary.
Aaaanyways, sister chubby is mean. :( She hanged up on me because I wont 'fake snore' -.- Like.. wtf. Hehehehe. Conference calls are funny.. But we tend to get mixed up with each other's voices. So.. thats confusing. :p
PEACOCK
Im so random.
Enjoy this posts, guys. Cause im hyper and its rare to find me this happy often :DD
I ROCK -shot-
Okay, Im so weird.
But seriously.
Im so weird.
..
Im scaring myself. OKAY BYE
-Kyle
~BYEZIES
TEEHEE
No but seriously, my posts are getting a bit too emo. Hehehe.. sorry.
Im just really emotional okay?!
Fck, I dont like people somtimes :D SO DEAL WITH IT.
I sound scary.
Aaaanyways, sister chubby is mean. :( She hanged up on me because I wont 'fake snore' -.- Like.. wtf. Hehehehe. Conference calls are funny.. But we tend to get mixed up with each other's voices. So.. thats confusing. :p
PEACOCK
Im so random.
Enjoy this posts, guys. Cause im hyper and its rare to find me this happy often :DD
I ROCK -shot-
Okay, Im so weird.
But seriously.
Im so weird.
..
Im scaring myself. OKAY BYE
-Kyle
~BYEZIES
TEEHEE
Quote Of The Day...
"Though I expected it, and though I love the source it's coming from, I still feel extremely hurt."
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Another emo post.. Boo.
What the hell would you do If I died?
Im not jinxing anything. Like hell I'd want to jinx myself. But life is a bitch sometimes. :\
Yes, another emo post. HAH. Get use to them.
Look its not like I'm mad or upset, I'm just really disappointed. And to put it bluntly, tired. I just hate a relationship that's based on a secret and lies.
But I can't do anything about it cause... I can't let her go.. Ever. My heart breaks into half when I think about losing her.
If I ever lost her, it would be the worse thing that has ever happened to me.
Cause meeting her was the best thing that happened to me.. EVER.
She's my source of energy. She's my light. She's my star. She's my heartbeat. She's the reason I get up in the morning. She's the reason I live. She's mine.
And it hurts to wonder if she's ever gonna be the opposite of everything I had just said.
I dont ever want to lose her but,
I feel like she's slipping away. </3
Im not jinxing anything. Like hell I'd want to jinx myself. But life is a bitch sometimes. :\
Yes, another emo post. HAH. Get use to them.
Look its not like I'm mad or upset, I'm just really disappointed. And to put it bluntly, tired. I just hate a relationship that's based on a secret and lies.
But I can't do anything about it cause... I can't let her go.. Ever. My heart breaks into half when I think about losing her.
If I ever lost her, it would be the worse thing that has ever happened to me.
Cause meeting her was the best thing that happened to me.. EVER.
She's my source of energy. She's my light. She's my star. She's my heartbeat. She's the reason I get up in the morning. She's the reason I live. She's mine.
And it hurts to wonder if she's ever gonna be the opposite of everything I had just said.
I dont ever want to lose her but,
I feel like she's slipping away. </3
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
I love you so much it hurts
It does hurt. Somewhere deep in my heart, the possibility of losing you kills me.
But pushing that aside, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH OMG <3 <3
Seriously, I feel like I'm gonna explode. :O Today was amazing. Not only because I finally got to be able to leave the house (WOOP) but also because I got to see you ~ <3 And your face when I gave you that gift, SO. CUTE. <3
Miss you like so muuuch <3 <3 I never thought I could love someone this much xD ~ TEEEHEE
Okay, kinda hyper right now ;) BUT SERIOUSLY. Love. Love. Love. Love. LOVE you so much <3
Besides that ;D
Secrets SUCK. Seriously. I dont understand the concept of love anymore. Isn't love suppose to be so powerful that you dont care who knew? I mean yes, it causes bad and painful rumors and glares but that doesn't mean life is easy. No one said it was going to be easy.
And its freaking hard. That's why Im willing to give my life away to you. I swear, I am willing to DIE for you. The question is, are you willing to sacrifice everything for me?
So yea.. :) This is basically an awkward.. bored.. post. :D OKAY BYEZIES
-Kyle.
TEEHEE
But pushing that aside, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH OMG <3 <3
Seriously, I feel like I'm gonna explode. :O Today was amazing. Not only because I finally got to be able to leave the house (WOOP) but also because I got to see you ~ <3 And your face when I gave you that gift, SO. CUTE. <3
Miss you like so muuuch <3 <3 I never thought I could love someone this much xD ~ TEEEHEE
Okay, kinda hyper right now ;) BUT SERIOUSLY. Love. Love. Love. Love. LOVE you so much <3
Besides that ;D
Secrets SUCK. Seriously. I dont understand the concept of love anymore. Isn't love suppose to be so powerful that you dont care who knew? I mean yes, it causes bad and painful rumors and glares but that doesn't mean life is easy. No one said it was going to be easy.
And its freaking hard. That's why Im willing to give my life away to you. I swear, I am willing to DIE for you. The question is, are you willing to sacrifice everything for me?
So yea.. :) This is basically an awkward.. bored.. post. :D OKAY BYEZIES
-Kyle.
TEEHEE
Quote Of The Day...
"If man can make the statue of liberty, you can rebuild the wall to your heart."
Look at how I type when Im trying to comfort someone ;)
So for personal reasons, most of the names are gonna be chalked off :) Haha, enjoy xDD
--
Friend:
"Im upset. Thats wat. The sweet SC in me is crushed out. And it doesnt help dat barbitch is stuck on my mind"
Me:
"Aww :( Dont be like that, sister chuubyyy <3 everyone still loovess youuuu ~ dont be upset. If you're sad, I'm sad too. :("
Friend:
"well, not everyone. Twitter tells All."
Me:
"Gyawwww. Dont be like that.. You still have so much to live for. Friendship/love come and go, but life goes on."
Friend:
"I shoulda knwn. The deserve each other. Period. No discussion."
Me:
"Wait what?"
Friend:
"Sigh. Twitter. Now."
Me:
"I checked. But you didn't mention names or any specific characteristics."
Friend:
"Cnt be THAT obvious"
Me:
"Then just tell me whats going on instead of me wasting my credit guessing... I wantz ta help :("
Friend:
"1. ***** is wit IT. 2. Ya cnt help, u'll nt be able to rest 4 ya date."
Me:
"Owh you have got to be kidding.. That guy's with the slut? How da hell did THAT happen?!"
Friend:
"I dnt knw, ask the guy WITH the slut."
Me:
"Ugh. Society these days. Kay, we can both agree I am definitely not good on the phone. But through text, I can comfort the hell out of ya... hopefully. Anyways, how do you know? Did he tell you? Or did ** or did she tell you?"
Friend:
"Kind of all 3 at once. My head and eyes exploded"
Me:
"Owh dayum. That must suck hell... Well. You know what. Screw them. If you're as strong as I KNOW you to be, you'll grow past it. Just think of them now... as wabbit killers. You wouldn't want to be friends with wabbit killers now do ya?"
Friend:
"..................
1. ** is not a wabbit killer >:(
2. If they're killing 'em, then I'm the wabbit..."
Me:
"Okay I never said MB is a wabbit killer. I was talking about the other two. And your not a wabbit! Your a lion. And a lord, for a matter of fact. So keep your head high, show them you don't care and teach them that you can't be messed with. Cause this reaction is exactly what that bitch wants. Keep showing her your weak side and she'll keep doing it."
Friend:
"Ta do that, I need a wall for my heart. And up til now, ***** was my wall. ** is only the wall to my thoughts."
Me:
"Well, then rebuild that wall yourself. if man can make the statue of liberty, you can make that one simple wall that protects the whole system. I'll help you build it back. And so will all your friends."
Friend:
"Great. Knw where to get the money for 100 boxes of Lego?"
Me:
"Hmmm... I'm sure there's a discount somewhere at 1b. Besides, Lego's fall apart way too easily. Use the element of strength and it'll build right back up."
Friend:
"Ok, checking my box of strenght. Oh look, it's empty. And so are my boxes of happiness and true laughter."
Me:
"Well then, we'll help you fill them back in. Like I said before, friendship/love come and go but life goes on. And so will you."
Friend:
"I'm gonna die?! Holy shit! I'm not married yet!!!"
Me:
"HAH. See? Already making sarcastic yet offensive jokes :D that's my sister ~ but seriously, dont worry about it. We're still here. I'm still here :)"
Friend:
"... I was gonna say sumting very offensive."
.... Yea and then after that she called me and told me something that was actually really offensive. xD HAH. Oh well :p
That's how I comfort someone yaw, the AWESOME way. TEEHEE ~ But seriously, I like typing instead of talking :DD So.. yea that's it. :)
OH btw, there are no typos in this. Those words are exactly how she spelled em' so yeap. :)
-Kyle.
TEEHEE
--
Friend:
"Im upset. Thats wat. The sweet SC in me is crushed out. And it doesnt help dat barbitch is stuck on my mind"
Me:
"Aww :( Dont be like that, sister chuubyyy <3 everyone still loovess youuuu ~ dont be upset. If you're sad, I'm sad too. :("
Friend:
"well, not everyone. Twitter tells All."
Me:
"Gyawwww. Dont be like that.. You still have so much to live for. Friendship/love come and go, but life goes on."
Friend:
"I shoulda knwn. The deserve each other. Period. No discussion."
Me:
"Wait what?"
Friend:
"Sigh. Twitter. Now."
Me:
"I checked. But you didn't mention names or any specific characteristics."
Friend:
"Cnt be THAT obvious"
Me:
"Then just tell me whats going on instead of me wasting my credit guessing... I wantz ta help :("
Friend:
"1. ***** is wit IT. 2. Ya cnt help, u'll nt be able to rest 4 ya date."
Me:
"Owh you have got to be kidding.. That guy's with the slut? How da hell did THAT happen?!"
Friend:
"I dnt knw, ask the guy WITH the slut."
Me:
"Ugh. Society these days. Kay, we can both agree I am definitely not good on the phone. But through text, I can comfort the hell out of ya... hopefully. Anyways, how do you know? Did he tell you? Or did ** or did she tell you?"
Friend:
"Kind of all 3 at once. My head and eyes exploded"
Me:
"Owh dayum. That must suck hell... Well. You know what. Screw them. If you're as strong as I KNOW you to be, you'll grow past it. Just think of them now... as wabbit killers. You wouldn't want to be friends with wabbit killers now do ya?"
Friend:
"..................
1. ** is not a wabbit killer >:(
2. If they're killing 'em, then I'm the wabbit..."
Me:
"Okay I never said MB is a wabbit killer. I was talking about the other two. And your not a wabbit! Your a lion. And a lord, for a matter of fact. So keep your head high, show them you don't care and teach them that you can't be messed with. Cause this reaction is exactly what that bitch wants. Keep showing her your weak side and she'll keep doing it."
Friend:
"Ta do that, I need a wall for my heart. And up til now, ***** was my wall. ** is only the wall to my thoughts."
Me:
"Well, then rebuild that wall yourself. if man can make the statue of liberty, you can make that one simple wall that protects the whole system. I'll help you build it back. And so will all your friends."
Friend:
"Great. Knw where to get the money for 100 boxes of Lego?"
Me:
"Hmmm... I'm sure there's a discount somewhere at 1b. Besides, Lego's fall apart way too easily. Use the element of strength and it'll build right back up."
Friend:
"Ok, checking my box of strenght. Oh look, it's empty. And so are my boxes of happiness and true laughter."
Me:
"Well then, we'll help you fill them back in. Like I said before, friendship/love come and go but life goes on. And so will you."
Friend:
"I'm gonna die?! Holy shit! I'm not married yet!!!"
Me:
"HAH. See? Already making sarcastic yet offensive jokes :D that's my sister ~ but seriously, dont worry about it. We're still here. I'm still here :)"
Friend:
"... I was gonna say sumting very offensive."
.... Yea and then after that she called me and told me something that was actually really offensive. xD HAH. Oh well :p
That's how I comfort someone yaw, the AWESOME way. TEEHEE ~ But seriously, I like typing instead of talking :DD So.. yea that's it. :)
OH btw, there are no typos in this. Those words are exactly how she spelled em' so yeap. :)
-Kyle.
TEEHEE
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Ouh Look, update :D
So another day, another update.
Nothing much to say about today.. except.. like...
Okay, I'm just gonna come right up and say it. 'Apple' has done nothing but ruin my life. I never admitted to anything. Okay, yes at one point when I was single I followed her every step like a lost puppy. And my friends said I was 'in love' with her.
But wtf does love even mean? I don't understand. One minute you'd be flying over clouds, head over heals, dancing over rivers for one person and the next minute you just wanna stab their living heart out and stomp on it in a room full of 18 people to stare and watch..
Look, the point I'm trying to say is. Love is a confusing mechanism that requires a huge effort to fulfill. I may still be young, but that doesn't mean I can't get hurt.
'Apple' is just... another girl. I dont care about her anymore. It's her business. Not mine.
ANYWAYS,
Though I said up there that love is confusing, I know one thing that doesn't confuse me ~ ;)
My love for a certain beautiful Juliet <3
I guess you can say the love has.. deepened.. or heightened. Whatever you wanna call it :)
I just know I love her. Seriously. Everywhere I look, there's her. Everytime I sing a song, I think of her. Everyone I see, they all remind me of her and I just wish so badly that they were her ~
And I know what you're thinking,
"No kyle she's gonna break your heart!"
"Don't do it, you're gonna end up heartbroken!"
Well you shitholes can SHUT. THE. DUCK. UP.
Kidding :D
But seriously, shut up.
.. Yea.
She's not gonna break my heart, guys. Okay, I know at one point in the.. near future something's gonna happen.. maybe... I know it's not gonna last forever (cause wtf lasts forever, right?) but that doesn't mean I wont try~ And Im trying.. and im happy. So leave me alone :p
Hmmm besides that, Michelle and I are friends again.. I thought it was gonna be awkward when I called her.. But it wasn't.. at all :D That's just the way we roll, losers ~
TEEHEE.
Yea. That's it... maybe.
Okay. Bye. :D
-Kyle.
TEEHEE
Nothing much to say about today.. except.. like...
Okay, I'm just gonna come right up and say it. 'Apple' has done nothing but ruin my life. I never admitted to anything. Okay, yes at one point when I was single I followed her every step like a lost puppy. And my friends said I was 'in love' with her.
But wtf does love even mean? I don't understand. One minute you'd be flying over clouds, head over heals, dancing over rivers for one person and the next minute you just wanna stab their living heart out and stomp on it in a room full of 18 people to stare and watch..
Look, the point I'm trying to say is. Love is a confusing mechanism that requires a huge effort to fulfill. I may still be young, but that doesn't mean I can't get hurt.
'Apple' is just... another girl. I dont care about her anymore. It's her business. Not mine.
ANYWAYS,
Though I said up there that love is confusing, I know one thing that doesn't confuse me ~ ;)
My love for a certain beautiful Juliet <3
I guess you can say the love has.. deepened.. or heightened. Whatever you wanna call it :)
I just know I love her. Seriously. Everywhere I look, there's her. Everytime I sing a song, I think of her. Everyone I see, they all remind me of her and I just wish so badly that they were her ~
And I know what you're thinking,
"No kyle she's gonna break your heart!"
"Don't do it, you're gonna end up heartbroken!"
Well you shitholes can SHUT. THE. DUCK. UP.
Kidding :D
But seriously, shut up.
.. Yea.
She's not gonna break my heart, guys. Okay, I know at one point in the.. near future something's gonna happen.. maybe... I know it's not gonna last forever (cause wtf lasts forever, right?) but that doesn't mean I wont try~ And Im trying.. and im happy. So leave me alone :p
Hmmm besides that, Michelle and I are friends again.. I thought it was gonna be awkward when I called her.. But it wasn't.. at all :D That's just the way we roll, losers ~
TEEHEE.
Yea. That's it... maybe.
Okay. Bye. :D
-Kyle.
TEEHEE
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
If possible,
My life just got worse. -____________________________-
One of my best internet buddies apparently.. BLEH. I dont know what happened. :(
She deactivated her fb account. Then she just.. said Bye to me on Skype. And I dont know how to reply.
I need all the friends I can get. Even internet ones. And now that I'm pretty sure I lost her,
I'm screwed. But seriously, I have NO hell of an idea what happened. A few hours ago, she was fine. We were video-calling/making jokes. Suddenly it's-- .. it went downhill.
Not only did I get bit by my rabbit, scolded by my parents until I cried, get into a relationship that's killing me, fell in love with someone that will never feel the same way, lost my BEST friend, lost ALOT of internet buddies, found out my other best friend was saying bad things behind my back, get abandoned about 50 times already and get heartbroken all in 3 months, But I also lost my confidence.
I used to be so happy and joyous. I use to amazingly be happy all the time. Now suddenly,
suddenly the world's kicking my behind like it's nothing. And though I know I'm suppose to just hold my head up high and kick the world right back, it's getting harder.
I can't do this alone.
Why is everybody leaving me? </3
One of my best internet buddies apparently.. BLEH. I dont know what happened. :(
She deactivated her fb account. Then she just.. said Bye to me on Skype. And I dont know how to reply.
I need all the friends I can get. Even internet ones. And now that I'm pretty sure I lost her,
I'm screwed. But seriously, I have NO hell of an idea what happened. A few hours ago, she was fine. We were video-calling/making jokes. Suddenly it's-- .. it went downhill.
Not only did I get bit by my rabbit, scolded by my parents until I cried, get into a relationship that's killing me, fell in love with someone that will never feel the same way, lost my BEST friend, lost ALOT of internet buddies, found out my other best friend was saying bad things behind my back, get abandoned about 50 times already and get heartbroken all in 3 months, But I also lost my confidence.
I used to be so happy and joyous. I use to amazingly be happy all the time. Now suddenly,
suddenly the world's kicking my behind like it's nothing. And though I know I'm suppose to just hold my head up high and kick the world right back, it's getting harder.
I can't do this alone.
Why is everybody leaving me? </3
WHAT A BIG BAG OF SH--
Okay. As you guys can see. Not that much in an okay mood. -.-
This 'relationship' is driving me crazy. Not only does she ignore me, but she's pretending to date someone that is coincidentally her 'friend brother'.
Look, I've put up with TONS of worse bullshit in my life. Like a few days away, my best friend.. turned into 'just a friend'. I used to tell her everything and now.. she's hanging out with a bunch of people that.. that PISS me off.
Besides that,
Most of my friends are.. I don't know. I need a friend that.. I can turn into my best friend. Because so far I've only got 'close friends'. A best friend is a person that you can't really ever hate, or will never go all bad mood on you. So far, I haven't met that best friend yet.
But I haven't met my special someone yet either so wth right?
BLEH. Life sucks sometimes. Especially when it comes to friendship and love.
Love.. is a bitch. It haves you fall in love with someone you dont want, but doesn't let you forget someone you dont want. :\
It's like... wtf. -.-
And friendship is just--- It's just UGH. I've put up with alot of crappy things over my life (credits to my best friend -.-) But that doesn't mean when you throw crap at me I'll take it.
OKAY. IT'S STUPIDLY ANNOYING.
..
By the way, just a little sidenote: If you can lie, If she can lie, If my best friend can lie RIGHT TO MY FACE. Then so can I.
I hate lying, I really do. Whenever I lie, I twitch and flinch and feel SUPER guilty. But sometimes you piss me off. And sometimes to save my sorry ass, I have to lie. So deal with it, BITCH.
.. Besides that, exams aren't healthy.
Because of exams, a 'certain person' can't go online cause she has to study and all that. And because she can't go online, she wont be able to see the message I've sent her. And because she wont be able to see the message, she can't reply a certain message. And because she can't reply,
I won't know her answer. And because I wont know her answer, I'M DYING. :(
... Yea. I don't have anything to write anymore. Soo...
Byezies ~ :p
-Kyle.
This 'relationship' is driving me crazy. Not only does she ignore me, but she's pretending to date someone that is coincidentally her 'friend brother'.
Look, I've put up with TONS of worse bullshit in my life. Like a few days away, my best friend.. turned into 'just a friend'. I used to tell her everything and now.. she's hanging out with a bunch of people that.. that PISS me off.
Besides that,
Most of my friends are.. I don't know. I need a friend that.. I can turn into my best friend. Because so far I've only got 'close friends'. A best friend is a person that you can't really ever hate, or will never go all bad mood on you. So far, I haven't met that best friend yet.
But I haven't met my special someone yet either so wth right?
BLEH. Life sucks sometimes. Especially when it comes to friendship and love.
Love.. is a bitch. It haves you fall in love with someone you dont want, but doesn't let you forget someone you dont want. :\
It's like... wtf. -.-
And friendship is just--- It's just UGH. I've put up with alot of crappy things over my life (credits to my best friend -.-) But that doesn't mean when you throw crap at me I'll take it.
OKAY. IT'S STUPIDLY ANNOYING.
..
By the way, just a little sidenote: If you can lie, If she can lie, If my best friend can lie RIGHT TO MY FACE. Then so can I.
I hate lying, I really do. Whenever I lie, I twitch and flinch and feel SUPER guilty. But sometimes you piss me off. And sometimes to save my sorry ass, I have to lie. So deal with it, BITCH.
.. Besides that, exams aren't healthy.
Because of exams, a 'certain person' can't go online cause she has to study and all that. And because she can't go online, she wont be able to see the message I've sent her. And because she wont be able to see the message, she can't reply a certain message. And because she can't reply,
I won't know her answer. And because I wont know her answer, I'M DYING. :(
... Yea. I don't have anything to write anymore. Soo...
Byezies ~ :p
-Kyle.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Quote Of The Day...
"I'm sorry, I never meant to hurt you, but life is full of hurtful moments. You can hate on me if you want, just don't regret the time we spent together."
I dont know how much more love this heart can lose.
I'm dying from these exit wounds.
Don't feel so good, guys.
I dont know. Drama will always be my best friend but recently I think my enemy has become myself. Because I've confused myself with all these lies and secrets and fake--
Um.
Yea.
Look, the point is.
This couple of days have been pretty hard on me. And I know others have obviously got it MUCH worse than me. But I am mentally weak. Not only that, but I'm a wimp (I admit) and I'm a totally wuss.
I'm just afraid of what might be lying ahead.
Marks of battle, they still feel raw.
A million pieces of me.. on the floor.
Don't feel so good, guys.
I dont know. Drama will always be my best friend but recently I think my enemy has become myself. Because I've confused myself with all these lies and secrets and fake--
Um.
Yea.
Look, the point is.
This couple of days have been pretty hard on me. And I know others have obviously got it MUCH worse than me. But I am mentally weak. Not only that, but I'm a wimp (I admit) and I'm a totally wuss.
I'm just afraid of what might be lying ahead.
Marks of battle, they still feel raw.
A million pieces of me.. on the floor.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Quote Of The Day...
"If you're allowed to bitch about me. It's only fair I'm allowed to bitch about you."
Everybody's laughing in my mind..
Rumor's spreading about this other guy..
Bleh. Who gives a shit.
Karma and drama SUCKS.
they can go commit suicide or something. -.-
Look, I'm tired of all these bullshit.
Um... lazy to type. :) TEEHEE ~
SO YEA THATS IT.
OKAY..
BYE.
-Kyle.
TEEHEE
Bleh. Who gives a shit.
Karma and drama SUCKS.
they can go commit suicide or something. -.-
Look, I'm tired of all these bullshit.
Um... lazy to type. :) TEEHEE ~
SO YEA THATS IT.
OKAY..
BYE.
-Kyle.
TEEHEE
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Friday, May 6, 2011
TEEHEE
IMMA HAPPY AND TOTALLY NERVOUS
OKAY, HAPPY PART FIRST :D
IM IN MY SCHOOL'S TALENT SHOW ~ <3
IT'S CALLED MAKTAB NATIONAL IDOL (MN IDOL FOR SHORT) AND THEY SAY IT'S ACTUALLY A BIG THING. .
Like not normal school singing on the school stage crap, this is like.. um... A CONCERT OR SOMETHING.
And both my solo and group are in ~ <3 :DD
I'M AT THE TOP OF THE WORLD!
HAHAHAHAHA
For solo I'm singing Superman by Joe Brooks ;) It's an awesome song ~ Search it up on youtube. The lyrics.. kinda fit me right now. That song has fit me for like a few months now. :\ But oh wellz :p
Uhh, besides that- For group there's Michelle and I (Only, hahaha) and we're singing a Bruno Mars Mash-up ;D
It's a mash-up of Bruno Mars' Marry you, Just the way you are and Grenade. And it's AWESOME teeheeee ~
Hahaha anyways :D
Our group audition went awesome, to be honest~ The judges actually CLAPPED for us. They didnt clap for anyone else :D
My solo was a little rough though. That's why I'm so happy. I had no idea I'd be picked :)
Hahaa because, when I sang that song- I actually brought an instrumental disk made by my friend Ted Mosby (You know who you are) but I tried it out, and it didn't work.. somehow. :\ So I had to use my guitar to sing.
And I played WAAAAAAAAAY too fast. xD Hahahaha~ And not only that, but I dropped my pick! :O
But I just stared at it for a second then went back to playing. :) I don't know what made them pick me but I AM SO DAMN HAPPY <3 <3 TEEHEEEEE ~
Hahahahahaha :DD
...
OKAY NOW THE NERVOUS PART <:O
I'M HAVING A CONCERT TONIGHT. Okay, well basically it ain't my concert. BUT IM IN IT.
Okay basically not IN it, I'm.. in my school's choir. :\
And the problem is, I do NOT want to wear my school uniform.. heheheheheheheh...
but uhhh, I HAVE to..
.. BUT MY UNIFORM'S WET, SEE :D :D
.. OH WELLZ
OKAY THATS IT
LOVE Y'ALL
-KYLE.
TEEHEE
OKAY, HAPPY PART FIRST :D
IM IN MY SCHOOL'S TALENT SHOW ~ <3
IT'S CALLED MAKTAB NATIONAL IDOL (MN IDOL FOR SHORT) AND THEY SAY IT'S ACTUALLY A BIG THING. .
Like not normal school singing on the school stage crap, this is like.. um... A CONCERT OR SOMETHING.
And both my solo and group are in ~ <3 :DD
I'M AT THE TOP OF THE WORLD!
HAHAHAHAHA
For solo I'm singing Superman by Joe Brooks ;) It's an awesome song ~ Search it up on youtube. The lyrics.. kinda fit me right now. That song has fit me for like a few months now. :\ But oh wellz :p
Uhh, besides that- For group there's Michelle and I (Only, hahaha) and we're singing a Bruno Mars Mash-up ;D
It's a mash-up of Bruno Mars' Marry you, Just the way you are and Grenade. And it's AWESOME teeheeee ~
Hahaha anyways :D
Our group audition went awesome, to be honest~ The judges actually CLAPPED for us. They didnt clap for anyone else :D
My solo was a little rough though. That's why I'm so happy. I had no idea I'd be picked :)
Hahaa because, when I sang that song- I actually brought an instrumental disk made by my friend Ted Mosby (You know who you are) but I tried it out, and it didn't work.. somehow. :\ So I had to use my guitar to sing.
And I played WAAAAAAAAAY too fast. xD Hahahaha~ And not only that, but I dropped my pick! :O
But I just stared at it for a second then went back to playing. :) I don't know what made them pick me but I AM SO DAMN HAPPY <3 <3 TEEHEEEEE ~
Hahahahahaha :DD
...
OKAY NOW THE NERVOUS PART <:O
I'M HAVING A CONCERT TONIGHT. Okay, well basically it ain't my concert. BUT IM IN IT.
Okay basically not IN it, I'm.. in my school's choir. :\
And the problem is, I do NOT want to wear my school uniform.. heheheheheheheh...
but uhhh, I HAVE to..
.. BUT MY UNIFORM'S WET, SEE :D :D
.. OH WELLZ
OKAY THATS IT
LOVE Y'ALL
-KYLE.
TEEHEE
Quote Of The Day...
"Sometimes to know the right thing in the right time, you have to be there at the right place with the right someone."
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
SO YEA.
Dreams have been crushed...
Face Full of Tears...
And Suddenly I'm facing my worst Fears...
asdn Loving that song to the max. ;)
No, it's not mine. Hahaha, I wish. It's one of my best friend's, Ted Mosby's, song. He made it for a friend of mine that lost the guy she liked.
Anyways,
things have been going pretty good. :))
I don't know if you guys remember this, but a few posts back I mentioned these few girls 'Maroon' 'Vampire' and 'Eighteen'. Okay, here it is ~ http://kylekylantamm.blogspot.com/2011/02/update-02.html
Yea anyways.
I'm with Maroon.
HAH. Believe or not, bitches.
Oh well.. Anyways, at first I just thought of Maroon as like a REALLY pretty girl. Then she started getting more popular because of her looks and.. seductive ways. ;) Whaddup~ And then yea. She was dating a guy from my school,
and she broke up with him because of me.
Look, I know I should be feeling.. like.. guilty or something.. BUT I can't help but be happy! I'm like so in love with her and she chose me~ So like.. wth right :D
.. Yea anyways. I'm like best friends with Eighteen now. I know what I said before about her, but I guess like always I was wrong. :)
OH YEA.
NEW QUOTE. TOO LAZY TO POST THAT 'QUOTE OF THE DAY' THING SO I'LL JUST SAY IT HERE. :DD
Don't judge a person on what others say about them but more on what they say about others
Teehee. Totally true. .. I guess? :OO
HAH. Yea.. So I totally misjudged her. :\\ Sorryyyy.
But yea, that's almost basically it. :)
-Kyle
Face Full of Tears...
And Suddenly I'm facing my worst Fears...
asdn Loving that song to the max. ;)
No, it's not mine. Hahaha, I wish. It's one of my best friend's, Ted Mosby's, song. He made it for a friend of mine that lost the guy she liked.
Anyways,
things have been going pretty good. :))
I don't know if you guys remember this, but a few posts back I mentioned these few girls 'Maroon' 'Vampire' and 'Eighteen'. Okay, here it is ~ http://kylekylantamm.blogspot.com/2011/02/update-02.html
Yea anyways.
I'm with Maroon.
HAH. Believe or not, bitches.
Oh well.. Anyways, at first I just thought of Maroon as like a REALLY pretty girl. Then she started getting more popular because of her looks and.. seductive ways. ;) Whaddup~ And then yea. She was dating a guy from my school,
and she broke up with him because of me.
Look, I know I should be feeling.. like.. guilty or something.. BUT I can't help but be happy! I'm like so in love with her and she chose me~ So like.. wth right :D
.. Yea anyways. I'm like best friends with Eighteen now. I know what I said before about her, but I guess like always I was wrong. :)
OH YEA.
NEW QUOTE. TOO LAZY TO POST THAT 'QUOTE OF THE DAY' THING SO I'LL JUST SAY IT HERE. :DD
Don't judge a person on what others say about them but more on what they say about others
Teehee. Totally true. .. I guess? :OO
HAH. Yea.. So I totally misjudged her. :\\ Sorryyyy.
But yea, that's almost basically it. :)
-Kyle
Monday, May 2, 2011
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Quote Of The Day...
"You know, It's ironic how I want to hate you... But I can't find anything I hate about you."
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